Missing Victor!

Ok this post is just my thoughts as they are thought you guys are about to see just how random I think. This post is all over the place and about our friend Victor! Hubby and I were so blessed to have had Victor Tolliver in our lives. He was absolutely the best friend my husband has ever had! Victor would stop whatever he was doing to help Hubby with anything he ever needed and was always at our house. God love him he even had a key to our old house's. Every night sometime around 8:00 or 8:30 he would get off work call and ask what I made for dinner and just a few short minutes later there he was sitting at our dinner table eating and doing homework! He had a special relationship with my girls he loved them both. However he had such a special bond with "B" I remember one time I was walking in Wal-mart and "B" was just a tiny tiny baby. Victor was walking along side me as I pushed "B" in the buggy in her pumpkin seat! One of Victor's friends from High School walked up to us and said Oh Vic I did not know you had a baby Man congratulations she is beautiful! bahahahah "B" seriously was such a darked skinned little middle eastern looking baby! We both cracked up and were like ewww no ha ha. He quickly told the guy this is my best friends baby and this is his wife! Victor and I cracked up about that all the time. Victor and "B" were constantly chasing, tickling or playing with her toys! I remember many of time I would walk into "K" room and Victor, "K" and "B" were all laying on the bed watching some Disney movie. ha ha He was so good with them and made sure he told them just how much he loved them every time he left the house or if it just hit him to say "K" or "B" I love you! When Victor would come in the house he would say "K" and her middle name I am gonna get you and chase her around the house and tickle tickle tickle her. He would pick "B" up and dance with her all around the house! He was just so so precious. I remember having many a talk on my back porch with our mutual friend Amy. It was always Hubby, Myself, Amy and Victor eating dinner and sitting on the back deck till wee hours in the morning just talking about any and all things. Many a nights our conversations were about our relationship with the Lord. At the time my relationship with the Lord was not the best it could have been. That did not stop us from getting into some deep talks. I know without a shadow of a doubt Victor had a relationship with the Lord. The Bible says we will know they are Christian by there fruit and from his fruits its obvious. I will never ever forget the day that Victor left this earth. I called his cell phone because I was going into Wal-mart and wanted him to walk around with me while I shopped just like he always did. His friend Denton answered the phone and I was like what are you doing answering his phone and he asked me where was I and I told him and he asked for Hubby I told him he was not with me. Well then he told me Vic had been in an accident and that he was at the hospital. Well I just figured it was a finder bender and I called Hubby and he told me to just get my shopping done and get home so he could go to the hospital. I got two pages of groceries done in 15 min. I saw Amy and told her and told her I would call her as soon as I heard something. I went home Hubby was sitting in the car waiting on me to pull up he went to the hospital. Well all of a sudden my phone was ringing off the hook people saying Victor had been in a horrible wreck and that he died. I kept saying shut up don't you ever call this phone again with such horrible gossip. I called Hubby and called him nothing about 2 hours later he pulls into the driveway I run out to the top deck to see him and he would not look at me. He gets into the house and stretches out across our stairs his body could not go any further. He kept screaming he's gone he's gone I could not believe it I told him don't say that to me. Then he proceeded to tell me the story about how him and his friend Trey were coming down the mountain Trey lost control of the truck and it hit a ditch flipping the car over and over and Victor flew out of the truck killing him instantly! I have never been so sad in my whole life. I have never morned someone like I have morned Victor. My Hubby spoke at the funeral and I have to say he did a wonderful job. Bless his heart he made me go up to the front of the gym and hold his hand while he gave his eulogy. In the weeks that followed I saw my husband change into a very cold distant man. He stopped showing emotion and just really was lost without him. I know in the years that followed things happened in our lives and Hubby would always say I really wished Victor had been here I do not believe any of this would have ever happened. Now looking back I can not see how we have gone on with our lives these 4 years. Something just seems wrong without him. I can not believe he does not know "S" and "S" does not know him. My heart aches every time I see pictures of him or I see Rashad with "S". I just think oh Victor would be so proud of the lives we now lead and of the relationship Hubby and I now have with one another. I heard a song this morning by Diamond Rio that says

"Forever, youre a part of me
Forever, in the heart of me
And Ill hold you even longer if I can
The people who dont see the most
Say that I believe in ghosts
And if that makes me crazy, then I am
cause I believe

There are more than angels watching over me
I believe, I believe"

It made me think of him and I just thought I would write about him this morning! So there is my post for the morning! Its not a happy one but its part of who I am! Victor, Nicole, my grandparents I believe they are watching over me and my family! I guess I am crazy! Folks don't get super spiritual on me I know all of that. It just makes it easier to handle all these years if I just think of them as being with me! OK I am going to clean this house!

House update
Hubby dug out our driveway yesterday after church and this morning. The concrete company is coming Wed to pour the footer. Its coming along I will take pictures later after the fog has cleared out!